Back and better than ever ( I need to create)

Well I know it has been a while, but that is okay. I'm back because I've realized something. I stopped nearly seven months ago because I hadn't realized it yet. When I started this blog I was stupid, and I still am. But I have gained one piece of knowledge that makes all the difference. I need to create.

Last time I started to write for attention for my own personal glory. How foolish I was! Basically ever time I posted something I was saying hey look at me! Acknowledge me! And I whined about it until someone noticed. I was and am a child. At least now I know I am a child, and I want to grow up.

So what else have I learned? I learn that in spite of myself I still want to write. I know I am no good, but that doesn't matter to me. I am going to do this writing thing I've got to do it for the love of the thing itself. Divorce myself from the consideration of others and even the criticism.

 I don't want to do this so that others can enjoy it. I want to do it because I enjoy it. If the artist bends to the will of the critic he is no longer an artist. 

Most of all I want to find my voice. I have yet to find it, but I know it is inside of me. I want to speak with the voice of the age. The voice crying out in the wilderness. The prophetic voice that gives the news and problems of this age.

No more imitation. It’s useless. No more generalization. It’s idiocy.

 I need to create. I need to do the essentially human act. The thing most proper to our nature. The fullest expression of humanity

Aim

What was it I saw in you?

That made my heart a bow,

Made my love an arrow,

And you the target.

Was it love?

The great artificer that moves, transforms,

And creates all anew at but whim and will.

The great caster and press

That forces the die upon all,

Reshaping the native form to fit the new desire.

What will I do, what can I do with this new shape?

But aim my Love toward you in Faith and Hope

That guided by the same love that shaped it

It will find the goal aright.

The Night

Oh,
The night is alive
Listen close, child
It speaks of secrets
Hidden in the earth

Alack!
They have been revealed
The mount hides it's face
The sea has given
The full of it's deep

Woe
To the men who live
Mothers with child
All will fall away
All will fall away.

What it takes to forget.

Forget your preconceptions, and accept reality
Rage! fight, struggle, and continue to sing your falsity
This place is sick, These words the cut air with a harsh Tension
The trouble is this house was built of my own invention.

Escape would be better, but I like the tragedy
An inescapable play that feeds the fallacy
Were both on a stage, you play your part and I'll play mine.

My take on things

The primary struggle of humanity is between knowledge and ignorance.

Rumors and Hearsay

I saw it coming a mile away
But I didn't move For fear of death

Quietly, I stood
Waiting for the news to run me down
It came in a burst of blood...
And tears...

"You will always be the same
Try as you might
This mission is fruitless
These questions are null”

A rush of air hit my lungs
And then…
nothing
calm…
quiet…
nothing…

Untitled

I watched my self in the corner
As my soul sings lament

"I am a flower
Who’s roots drink deep
The waters of uncertainty

I think blacklisted thoughts
And dream impossible realities

I abuse privation
I disallow the lifeblood of being"

Sing, soul sing!
For it is a song of mourning